The Day Anxiety Ruled.
I woke up early around 5:30am or so. I knew that familar feeling in my stomach and the way my head was buzzing that this morning would be a bit rough. My old friend Mr. Anxiety was knocking on the door and I knew that today I was not going to win.
I know all the right things to say and do when this happenns to others...however sometimes those things just do not work and one needs to sit in the uncomfortable feelings without judgement or ridicule, or trying to figure out why. Someimes it is just there. Pulling at your stomach, fueling your mind to ran faster. However I am old friends with this monster and now know that sometimes the bet answer is to just be with it and allow it to work its way out of your mind, body and soul.
Being raised in a very turmoulous household it is no wonder that I have struggled with this issue my whole life. The difference now though is that I do not allow it to make me think there is something wrong with me. That I must be doing something wrong. That is just not the case my firends.
We are humane beings having a very real humane experience and so some of that will involve feeling all the wide range of emotions which anxiety can sometimes be a part of.
I do believe however that our past, especially our formative years can have an impact on how often, or if you will, how we choose to deal with this affliction.
There was a time in my life when anxiety would derail me for days or sometimes even weeks. It would be triggered by a visit home to where I grew up. So many places where some horrible things did happen. The road where I was raped, the house where so much fighting and violence were a part of. The street where my Dad would meet me with groceries to take home. He knew I was living on mustard sandwiches, on a good day. ( my Mom and Dad were separated by the time I was three) and I was living in a cockroach invested hotel room with y Mom and Step Father.
When there is a painful history and we have not taken the time for healing or getting the help we need as an adult to process these things, it can become debilitating. But I digress.
Back to the issue at hand, anxiety. After a very shaky wake up time, I decided to move on with my day, planning to push through and get all the tasks I need to get done, finished.
However I knew that that was not going to happen. So I said to my husband Bud, I am going to have to choose to allow myself to sit with this and just trust that tomorrow will be a better day.
So, that is what I have been doing today.
Here are my top seven tips of the things I do when I know the anxiety is not going to be so easily shaken off. First I :
1. Eat a good breakfast with some protein. ( we went out for breakfast and I had poached eggs on whole wheat toast.)
2. Get outside for some fresh air. (we went for a 30 minute walk on th golf course.)
3. Decide it is okay to take the time to let thsi feeling work its way threw me. ( I did the minimal amount of work I had to do, then I rested.)
4. Spend time with someone who cheers you up. ( I had Facetime with my sweet grandson Onyx. 🥰 )
5. Take a nap if you need to. ( sometimes this can mean just resting in bed.)
6. Do box breathing. ( Breath in to the count of four, hold t the count of four, breath out to the count of four, hold for the count of four and repeat.)
7. Chamomile tea, lavender oil and soothing meditative music. ( Doing this a bit later tonight. 😍 )
Another thing I do is wear the most comfortable and cozy clothing I have. I do not concern myself with make up and I just let myself be. I always come back to the old saying from the German philosopher - FriedrichNeitzsche " What does not kill you makes you stronger".
And even though in my younger years when the anxiety was coupled with sever suicidal depression I always seemed to fing the strength to fight through it, get help and move on.
Let's face it, life is not always a bed of roses, however when we do our due diligence, uncover what has been holding us back, take the time to learn the methods and mindset to create the life of our desires we can truly become unstoppable and I am proof of that.
Choose your thoughts wisely, but never, ever beat yourself up for feeling any doubts or anxieties, life is just like that sometimes.
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